Talk about BURNT OUT! I was beyond exhausted. After about 2 minutes of spacing out, my mind immediately began planning for the next day. Out of no where, a huge wave anxiety came over me! Like the walls were closing in around me; I became short of breath. Usually my husband and I stay up (a little longer than we should) after the kids go to bed to get some quality time in. Last night, he decided to go to bed a little earlier. He asked if I was joining him and I said, "You know, I think I'll just stay out here for a bit."
Psalm 55: 22 Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.
To my moms out there juggling it all:
You're over worked, tired, and may feel under-appreciated. We don't think about ourselves until we have moments like I did last night. We burn ourselves out and are in need of a recharge. We fuel our families with love, time and affection that is not alway reciprocated. Not because they don't love us or they aren't thinking of us. Marriage and raising children has its challenges for sure. Being married doesn't make the process (raising children) any easier (contrary to what people believe) and if you're dong it alone, I commend you. I had taste of being a "single parent" when my husband suddenly became very ill last year. That was the roughest time in my life, and to be honest, I'm still recovering from it. Point is, when we neglect ourselves it shows. My kids and my husband can tell when I'm burnt out...I can get a little impatient and grumpy.
Mommies, if you have to stay up after putting my kids to bed; from 12am to 6am like I did to get some peace of mind...do so! Try to do something for yourself everyday. Yes everyday! It doesn't have to be time consuming, expensive or anything like that. Gift yourself a new pair of jeans, a lip stick, a makeup session with me (wink wink lol). Give yourself and mani and pedi, journal, buy yourself flowers, etc. Plug into YOU! Because I wasn't pouring into myself, I notice that I haven't been as accepting as I could as far as my husbands advances to make me feel special. I'm not just talking about doing the naughty here. LOL I'm talking about the times he gives me space and I don't use it! Then I'll turn around and say, " You never give me time to breath....regroup!" Then he'll say, "well the other day I took the kids to the store with me to give you an hour of two of silence/time to do whatever you want/need to. Me..."oh yeah. I'm sorry..." LOL SEE! Pour into yourselves and allow others to pour into you. It begins with US!