Fear Won't Let Me Be Fashionable| On Banning Myself from Stylish Cloths, My Struggle to Lose Weight & Accepting where I am now!

By | 8/10/2016 5 comments
H E Y  B E A U T I E S !

Outfit details below
So, I've been going back and forth for a few days now on whether I should post these images. Lately I've been getting a number of requests from my readers to do style posts. Like, whaaa?! Guys, I'm truly flattered that you guys think I'm stylish. However for me, the thought is comical. I talked to my husband about it and he told me that I'm a little (very) critical of myself, which is true. Also, that I should give style posts another try. I've done them before in the past and they were cute, but not me or how I like to dress. Which I'm still unsure about. Any-who, after speaking with him, I decided to give it another try. I'm a mom of two young boys so I don't put much thought into what I wear. (I tried it. I pulled the Mom card. smh) Honestly, I can't even use that as an excuse. I've always been a grab and go girl. I wore what ever was clean and made sure I didn't look too crazy; over all I didn't really care. I'm a Makeup Artist. So in my mind, as long as I wear all black and my face is beat...I was good. However lately that hasn't been enough for me. So here we are...

Jeans: F21 Plus Distressed Jean $32
Purse:Lionel Hanbags - TJ Maxx $24.99
Shoes: Indigord Ross $20
So I'm outside taking pictures and to be honest, I didn't really like what I wore (here we go again). You're looking at it thinking, "She looks fine! If this girl don't hush." I'm guessing you're thinking that because that's what my friend told me who's looking at these photos right now. I just noticed that because I put effort into this outfit, it made me a little more vulnerable. Eww...like why? I mean, I'm as mushy and vulnerable as they come, but never about my cloths. It really opened my eyes to an underlining issue that I never knew I had. Well, not to this extent at least...

Hat: Forever 21- $12.99
Top: HM - $5
Dressing with intent draws attention to my body and I don't want that. I'm not very comfortable with how I feel at the moment. I'm comfortable with how I look, truly. I love my body. Especially naked. Yup. I feel most confident naked. However when its time to get dressed my confidence at times leaves me. Working on this style post made me realize that most of my closet doesn't work for me or my body type and I know the reason why. 

A few years ago I told myself I wouldn't by any nice cloths until I lost weight and boy I have I kept that promise. These Forever 21 Plus Distressed Jeans are the first pair of jeans I've purchased since having my son 3 years ago. I've just been wearing leggings all this time and I know many of you consider that a crime. As you can see my jeans are beyond distressed. I've worn them to death. So, do know that when purchased they come less raggedy than pictured. To me, buying nice cloths was a reward and I didn't feel I deserved that. Also if I'm spending a lot of money on cloths made and tailored for my body I want them to last a long time. Right?! Problem is, I didn't plan to have this body for a long time. While writing this I realized...

Maybe dressing myself in frumpy grab-and-go cloths is whats keeping me from losing the weight. I'm too comfortable, but not in a good way. I don't know anyone else who was able to accomplish much of anything while not really loving themselves, in the place their in. Maybe I just need to for once try and buy something that I love and that fits. Maybe everything that I'm feeling here will go away once I do. It could make me feel better about shopping and getting dressed and hopefully the boost I need to finally lose these extra pounds. 

Anyway, as you can see, this post isn't really about the jeans. I just wanted to have a heart to heart with you and honestly with myself. Moving forward starting today, I will put more thought into the things I buy. I deserve to look fly while trying to loose weight and it wasn't until today, as I typed this that I realized that I've been punishing myself all along. Feel free to let me know your thoughts on all of this in the comments and thanks for always listening. Oh, yeah and let me know if you like the pictures. Sorry for only one full body pic. The rest came out blurry. My next style post will be better and won't be a grab and go outfit like this one. 



You can love your body and want to lose weight too. I don't know why every time I do a post like this the plus community tells me that If I want to lose weight, then I don't love myself. I'd like to agree to disagree again before you come for me. Hehe...


Until next time,
-Bee

5 comments : Leave Your Comments

  1. Your outfit was a "grab & go" but it's put together perfectly! I love this whole look, and you look adorable!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello, I admire you
    I'm a mom of two also
    I want to become a blogger/vlogger but I worry alot about my self image as well.
    So, keep doing what your doing putting your self out there you have supporter.
    And you inspire others.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hello, I admire you
    I'm a mom of two also
    I want to become a blogger/vlogger but I worry alot about my self image as well.
    So, keep doing what your doing putting your self out there you have supporter.
    And you inspire others.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Omg. You look great! Thank you for this post. In everything that I've seen you in ( I follow most of your accounts) you look great and have the confidence that I wish I had about myself and my body. You really are an inspiration to me. Please post more!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Every since I started following you years ago I always thought you had great style. None of your outfits look grab and go to me. Love this outfit.

    ReplyDelete

Keep commenting on blog posts for chances to win makeup!!! Thanks for stopping by!